TO Do ....in 2007

Get out of this Job before Mid year
Take a vaction with ma Pa, to make sure i let them know they mean the world to me....
Get engaged
Finish my Documentary
Become a PETA certified Medical Counsellor
Complete my Script
Travel to London/Canada...and then US (if i can afford it)
become Punctual
get more disciplined
Get Sorted
Chill more
NO BITCHING/ Gossiping
Let my head rule my heart
Run on the treadmill
Run for the Marathon :)
Buy or get (:D) a new Car
Read More books
Finish my Advanced Theatre course
write more blogs
Scrap Regularly
Go to Ladakh and Dharamsala
Become a good student at my Salsa class....

is there something i forgot....
ya and to Laugh and Live more .....

New Tracks

Ok...
after Daddy yankee and Shakira ,
am back to Boney M :)

bought soundtrack of Guru,Salaam-e-Ishq and Bas Ek Pal (Ya, that's the Filmy me :D)
also picked up this random album called ANWAR on the reco of this guy @ Planet M...Believe my reco now... it was worth the buy,if u like Indian ocean or Sufi stuff, U wd love this one....trust me...
and do let me know ur comments

Helpless

There's this sweet little female puppy who roams arnd our office
i usually carry somthng for her
yesterday i bought her a big packet of Pedigree for her , so that she becomes big and strong :D
and can take care of herself, cos she has a long way to go...
she's very passionate ,an adorable white angel with love drooling out of her eyes,...and the best thng she's started to recognise me ..no matter where i am or with whoever i am....It's such a wonderful feeling (at times, it does get embarrasing though...)
but i guess her love kinda makes up for it
the only thng being now, that i need to get her vaccinated and for that i either need to take her along or call people which means she'llnot be arnd for a day atleast...also, she's started teething, i bought her a chewy ball but she still insists on nibbling ppl and their hands or feet or shoes :(
i'm cool as i got my anti-rabies shot but all my frnds aren't
......
Today there were these kids who were running arnd her, and she in her friendliness chased them ...and suddenly from nowhere this really BIG uncle came and kicked her and i couldn't do anything...i felt so bad and so sad :(
HELPLESS is the word......

Books that i Bought

100 years of Solitude
Life of pi
Family Matters-Rohinton Mistry
Namesake-Jhumpa lahiri
The Inheritance of Loss - (everyone seems to be reading this book, so i thgt i'll also go buy it.... :))
Alexander-I,II and III
Anitaa and Me(dunno why i bought this)

shall keep you posted on the reviews

R.K.Narayan

Love this Man....

after growing up almost on his stories,am back to his books
(my second childhood maybe :D)
am reading the vendor of sweets, such a sweet book....beautiful, just the simplicity spellbounds u....

Promises are meant to be broken....

i broke a promise ...

Just let go...

I'm letting it go....
i'm letting go off my cribby attitude
my obsession for trifle things
letting go off the small attention seeking bug in me
letting go off the insane ,cranky child inside
letting go off the bad thoughts,the junk and the spam inside my head
i'm dumping it all
clearing my system
doing a shift+delete
cleaning the Hard Disk ;)
making some space for the nice,helpul,kind, cheerful me ...
Coming soon your way is.....the new improved ME ....
watch out this space for more ....

People pushing me too far...

I just hope i dont break ... i know i won't ....
well thats the new me, all thanks to two of my real cool friends ...
one of them who's busy preparing for his wedding and the other who's ver KHUSH with his bachelorhood...I've promised the soon to be married to help him choreograph an Item number for his cocktail night .... Wah Wah ..thanks Boys for changing my attitude , for making me chill and for giving me soooooooo much of gyaan....

NOBLE EIGHT FOLD PATH

Thanks to a sweet friend for mailing me this,
Love you ....

Right Understanding
Right Thinking
Right Speech
Right Action
Right Livelihood
Right Effort
Right Mindfulness
Right Concentration


1. Right View
See things as they truly are without delusions or distortionsfor all things change. Develop wisdom by knowing how thingswork, knowing oneself and others.
2. Right Intention
Wholehearted resolution and dedication to overcoming the dislocation of self-centered craving through the development of loving kindness, empathy and compassion.
3. Right Speech
Abstinence from lies and deceptions, backbiting, idle babble and abusive speech. Cultivate honesty andtruthfulness; practice speech that is kind and benevolent.Let your words reflect your desire to help, not harm others.
4.Right Action
Practice self-less conduct that reflects the highest statement of the life you want to live. Express conductthat is peaceful, honest and pure showing compassion for all beings.
5. Right Livelihood
Avoidance of work that causes suffering to others or thatmakes a decent, virtuous life impossible. Do not engagein any occupation that opposes or distracts one from thepath. Love and serve our world through your work.
6. Right Effort
Seek to make the balance between the exertion of following the spiritual path and a moderate life that is not over-zealous. Work to develop more wholesome mind states, while gently striving to go deeper and live more fully.
7. Right Mindfulness
Through constant vigilance in thought, speech and action seek to rid the mind of self-centered thoughts that separate and replace them with those that bind all beings together.Be aware of your thoughts, emotions, body and world as they exist in the present moment. Your thoughts create your reality.
8. Right Concentration
Through the application of meditation and mental discipline seekto extinguish the last flame of grasping consciousness and developan emptiness that has room to embrace and love all things.

???

I been lookin' in the mirror
somethin's gettin' clearer
Wonderin' who am I
Just a chemical solution caught in evolution

Only livin' to survive
Or am I just another lifetime
lookin' for a lifeline
Cryin' when the sun don't shine
Am I runnin' through the ghetto
maybe I should let go
Of all the dreams inside

But who am I to reach so high
And who am I to raise my eyes
Want to liveI want to die
I can't do anything I'll tell you why -Rod Stewart

Flawed

Am i Flawed ????
just because i think...i know i think way too much
but does that mean there's a problem with me
A problem because i dont usually act selfish
problem bcos i put others interest before mine
problem bcos i go out of my way to help other
problem because i'm never rude to anyone,
problem bcos i dont snap at people,
problem because i'm generous with my compliments,
problem because i'm honest,
problem because i care,
problem bcos i have a heart,
problem because i'm concerned, concerned abt others,concerned abt all,
problem because i feel sad everytime i see ppl fighting,

Problem because i wanna stay HUMAN

and Flawed because i expect humanity from humans, it pains me when people are arrogant,impolite or rude but it kills me when my friends are like that...everyone has their share of problems ,but that doesnt give anyone any right to snap at friends or be rude
i have the so called friends who mean the world to me but to whom i'm probably nothing,
i've faced it recently when i was shown the mirror,when i had to face the bitter truth ...i dread the day when my other frnds would say the same, i know that day is coming soon cos i know its not their PROBLEM

it's my problem...i expect, and that's where i'm FLAWED...

but maybe it's true and maybe it' not....

How do you do ????

One of the so often repeated questions... how are you ???how u doing ??how do you do???
and we all know the answer yet we never stop asking....its always a "I'm fine ...thankyou"
it reminds me of Directorial debut movie of Rahul Bose "Everybody says...I'm fine"
but honestly we aren't
so many times i wast fine,but is till did nod
still said...umm..."ya ,am good"
it's like one of the norms u follow,the rules of the society....just to be polite

then aren't we all lying ,aren't we all liars ???

dont know abt the rest ,but i do go through a whole lot of emotions....
and i plan to write abt these soon,maybe one by one as to why i feel that way , the reason, the possible solution,what I can do and what i can't, and whether its a good reason for me to be feel that way or be in that MOOD
I feel happy and i feel sad
i feel Blessed and i feel bad
i feel like a princess and i feel like a pau'per
i feel strong and i feel weak
i feel abled and i feel helpless....
i feel something and i get frusturated
and i feel CONFUSED...almost all the time

Dreams ....

It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.

I have so many dreams, no wonder my life is sooooo interesting :D

Arrangements...

Today, i realised am not the only one who's open to arrangements
i met a whole lot of people who are at their own , in some way or the other ,in some kind of arrangement... its all according to their convenience
It's funny that i suddenly recall a good old friend telling me long back (He calls it the funda of his life) according to him "You just need to take care of YOURSELF,just keep yourself happy ,make YOURSELF the motto of ur life, ...and the rest would automatically fall in place,the rest of the people,the situations,their actions,reactions...everything "
And as Mr.Coelho said : "Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own".
So, forget everything,even i'll try to let go off these baggages and adhere to the following policy "You must always know what it is that you want "

YOU is all you have !!!

I Quit Acohol

not that i ever did drink that much....
but i've resolved to let go off those drops as well....
So, here's to a Sober me :D

Saint and the sinner-who decides ?????

Amazing Grace

Amazing grace! (how sweet the sound!)
That sav'd a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found;
Was blind, but now I see.
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, And grace my fears reliev'd; How precious did that grace appear, The hour I first believ'd!
Thro' many dangers, toils, and snares,
I have already come;
'Tis grace has brought me safe thus far, And grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promis'd good to me,
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.
Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail, And mortal life shall cease; I shall possess, within the veil, A life of joy and peace.
This earth shall soon dissolve like snow, The sun forbear to shine; But God, who call'd me here below, Will be for ever mine.

John Newton

hate to say it ...but it's 98.9% TRUE

You Have a Sanguine Temperament

You are an optimistic person who is easily content.You enjoy casual, light tasks - never wanting to delve too deep into anything.A bit fickle, it's easy for you to change plans or paths when presented with something better. You enjoy all of the great things life has to offer - food, friends, and fun.A great talker, you can keep the conversation going for hours.You are optimistic and sure of your success. If you fail, you don't worry about it too much. At your worst, you are vain. You are obsessed with your own attractiveness.A horrible flirt, you tend to jump into love affairs and relationship drama easily.You're very jealous - which just magnifies the craziness around you.

What Temperment Are You?

true true

You Are A Loyal Sidekick

While you aren't the most visable one in your group...You're always up for a good time or conversationAnd you stick with your friends no matter whatYou may feel underappreciated - but it only seems that way!

What Kind of Friend Are You?

chk this out...

Your Dominant Intelligence is Interpersonal Intelligence

You shine in your ability to realate to and understand others.Good at seeing others' points of view, you get how people think and feel.You have an uncanny ability to sense true feelings, intentions, and motivations.A natural born leader, you are great at teaching and mediating conflict. You would make a good counselor, salesperson, politician, or business person.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

For someone who thought i was making up stupid lyrics to please him ... here you go :

It Didn't Mean A Thing I gave you all the love inside of my heart. But to you - It didn't mean a thing... ~*~ You toyed with my emotions - until finally I fell apart. But to you - It didn't mean a thing... ~*~ Never had I thought you could be so cruel. To turn and walk away - as I stood there crying in the rain... ~*~ Oh silly me - I thought you loved me too. But to you - Love's nothing more - than just a silly game.. ~*~ How you broke my heart - and you made me cry. On that dreadful day when you said goobye. ~*~ You left me feeling as though I could die. But to you - It didn't mean a thing... ~*~ The day will come - you'll give away your heart. But to her - it will be nothing more than a fling. ~*~ You'll know how it feels to fall apart. When you realize - that to her - your love didn't mean a thing. By: Trixie Love

Hope , now u believe that THIS song does exist "BIG DADDY"

BAD and SAD

There's something which is Bad
it's making me sad and driving me mad.. :(

“Sealing”- Seal what ?????

I’ve been thinking abt writing this for two weeks now, not too sure if u aware of the MCD Sealing drive that’s going on in the Capital city of India, my hometown, my birthplace, my Delhi…All thanks to the Supreme court’s order of Sealing illegal establishments/encroachments etc etc

Am happy and am sad, I’m what I’m best at: CONFUSED

If We go ahead, ya that would bring about an ideal place to live in, but that wd also mean more layoff’s, more closed shutters, increased unemployment, more people, less work, greater dependent population and a whole lot more economic problems besides the social unrest …
Backing out of this judgement or not completing this would mean:
· We do not abide by the judgement (the Supreme Court’s order !!!- The order which cannot be ruled out and the authority which has the power to run our country on its terms,along with the powers to choose our Leader)…only God knows where would this country go… but then there is the humanitarian ground (yup, the emotional call…)
· Would show the in competency of the government: the ruling party- they’ve anyways been at the receiving end of the public ire (whereas the opposition is Looving every moment of it ;) )
· It’s like dropping ur arm’s to SOME people on the road – I don’t have the data to validate what that SOME would account to though??? (But am sure its not worth the unrest in the capital)
· Last but not the least, they are there to SEAL the “ILLEGAL” COMMERCIAL ESTABLISHMENTS and not close all establishments…its Illegal, Illegal and just Illegal that they r after

Not backing out would mean a whole lot of more protest, more Bandh’s, more school days off, less man-hours, less productivity, lesser incomes, less GDP, less GNP, Fiscal Deficit… .Ok I think am losing it…before I turn insane, help me clear this confusion…but the why am I bothered, I Still have a JOB…its another off day @ work maybe, then y am I making a fuss???? – Humanitarian grounds maybe

Wedding Season ... Balle Balle :D

Hi,
I’ve been busy attending a whole lot of weddings; I attended a south Indian, Bengali and a weeklong Punjabi wedding celebration…I have loads to write …but that’ll have to wait cos rt now am more inclined on writing somthng else,sorry but promise I shall update u on this one soon…patience pays,…trust me on that

I promise....

I promise that this year i would :

• Read more books
• get a Boyfriend :D
• write some sensible stuff
• eat healthy
• wokout 4 days a week atleast
• crib no more...or maybe just crib less
• LOSE WEIGHT
• smile more often
• not cry so often
• complete my long lost promise of 5 years
• travel more
• become more punctual
• try and save 50% of my salary
• not bitch or gossip (PROMISE)
• learn a new language
• spend more time @ the help centres
• do something about the Stray dogs community/SECA
• try and keep all these promises

So, here's to the great year ahead...Amen !!!

MY BIRTHDRAY GIFT

I Got a LAPTOP , i shall be uploading the pic soon :D
meri nahin,mere Laptop ki hi sahi...

The year that was ...

Bday's are a good time to take stock...of life,...of goals,achieved or ignored...of resolutions,completed or chucked...of dreams,aspirations,of deadlines,completion,closures... and openings,...promises...old and new,...launch of new POA's, milestones, journeys,new beginnings...Full Circle.

Last year was fun ,some key achievements :
I didnt change my job,i'm still around rotting in this company
Still Single
Moved to our new house
Travelled:
Nov'05 - Kasauli/Chandigarh/panchkula
Dec'05 - JAMMU/SRINAGAR/GULMARG
Jan'06 - Mumbai/Nagpur/SHIRDI/Ellora
Feb- Ludhiana
Mar- Rishikesh
Apr - Thailand ,Bangkok and phuket
May- Lansdowne
Jun - Jaipur ,Dehradun
Jul- Ludhiana/Amritsar/Chandigarh
Aug- Shillon,Shimla
Sep-Singapore
Oct- Mussourie

Wow...didnt know i travelled so much this year, and from now on i've resolved to travel once a month for sure (not that i dont do it rt now...)

The plan for the year to come :
Nov: Amritsar or jammu
Dec: Goa or Hyd
June'07 : UK,Scotland,Liverpool
July'07 : Ontario,Canada

uff, was i a nomad in my last birth...well looking at these factuals above ,i've reasons good enough to believe that....

Bday Blues

It was my birthday on the 29th...i Added another year to my life...reason big enough for me to celebrate...right ????
and thats exactly what i did...partied ,partied and partied....didnt know i cd have so much fun (considering that i'm in my LATE twenties now ...), this was on of the finest birthday's i've had...the celebrations started from sat night and didnt stop till monday morning (3 @ sunday night= monday morning :D )...i loved every moment of it and this was the only birthday i didnt spend a penny, i didnt buy no cake,didnt go out for a meal,no pubs,lounge or discs...we just camped at my place ..and all that jamming with no damages ,it SURELY was a lot of fun....
i do wanna write in a lot of details but then, am old and Sleepy...so,some other time maybe.... and anyways i wouldn't want all of u to turn green and become envious of me,so naaaaahhh....

but ya,i'm still on and game for the wishes,so keep them coming

Keep Walking....or sailing rather

To and fro, to and fro
In my little boat I go
Sailing far across the sea
All alone, just little me.
And the sea is big and strong
And the journey very long.
To and fro, to and fro
In my little boat I go

Being broke ...

i never did go thru this feeling ever, and this is with mixed emotions that i say that this time around i'm BROKE for real...mixed bcos,...well,i take a lot of pride in continuing all these yrs without this experience and also a lil sad as this yr i have almost gone bankrupt with all my silly ,stupid,mundane expenses...and to think of it,there are still 5 days to go before that meagre amount gets credited to my account in form of SALARY :(

not just that i've ZERO funds,i'm under shitloads of DEBT ....all thanks to my dear brother who taught me how to play cards and my friends who can be Pro at fleecing ppl off their money

ITS JUST NOT FAIR !!!! I PROTEST
I NEED MONEY.....

and till i figure out how to manage these 5 days,y dont u ppl out there do a good deed and gimme some suggestions or better still... make a fund and pool in money for this poor soul...
May ALMIGHTY be with you in this noble deed :D

Diwali Diwali Diwali

Deep Jalao Deep Jalao
Aaj Diwali re
Khush Khushi Sab Gaate jao,aaj diwali re
aaj Dukaane khoob sajee hai
Ghar bhi jag mag karte
Deep jalao Deep jalao
aaj Diwali re....

A poem from my 2nd or 3rd standard
how i wish i cd sing it aloud today as well....
Oh,i'm so excited abt all the chamak dhamak,the festive fervour has completely bowled me over ,am i still that young to enjoy all this...or is it the begining of what people say our SECOND CHILDHOOD

well, update on Diwalil
last night i went for dinner,had a sinful pizza, was so tired of eating all these dinners,the dals and the paneers...some respite
i bought Ma , Pa there respective diwali gifts
i baked a rich dark Chocolate cake for all the ppl i'm expecting ,and am sure they wd come over to say a hi
we put up lights,covered the new housewith tiny lights which go on off in turns,very techie
I made Rangoli for DhanTeras ,Anu-our help at home helped me,its come out kinda well and am so proud of myself
i'm wearing bangles
plan to wear somthng really nice to work
lets see how this day goes....

The Countdown to Diwali

I got Diwali Credit from Daddy
Cleaned my room
got new paintings for the house
Took Magic to the Doc to get his ears checked for Diwali
a new SEXY clock for the kitchen...its really cool
Bhai bought me Killer Shades
Mom's put up new curtains and new bedspreads
we've been hosting or attending dinners
I lost money last night while playing teen patti
we had people dropping by to give us gifts and sweets
I went shopping with mommy for stuff that we need to distribute to all our frnds and family ppl
i'm wearing bangles to work ;) and tomorrow, i Plan to wear a saree :D

WOW !!!

and all this while i thgt Diwali was only abt crackers and diya....

Plagiarism :D

I read someone's blog (http://rockneverdies.blogspot.com/)
and glanced thru some nice questions, though i loved His answers...i tht i shd answer them for myself as well....so here it goes ..

I am thinking about: My job,actually a job change maybe
I said: "I Love you" to a guy i don't really love(neither does he though)
I refuse: to grow up
I want to: be more practical and SLIM
I wish: i had a richer Dad ;)
I hear: almost everyone
I wonder: at my existence or non-existence
I regret: not doing my MBA
I am: The BEST
I dance: like there's no tomorrow,sat i danced on a sexy B grade Hindi songs complete with the latka's and jhatka's ;)
I sing: "Besura" ...ALL THE TIME (all my dear frnds can vouch for it)
I cry: alone
I am not always: nice or sensible or as good and selfless as i wd want myself to be :-(
I make with my hands: YUM food and vague paintings
I write: stupid stories and random Blogs
I confuse: "Myself" most of the time
I need: to stabilise my life a little, A Stabiliser is all i need maybe :) (and all this while i thgt i needed a GUY, ya the Dumb me :))....

i think i need to answer these questions more often...

I'm sitting here in a boring room
It's just another rainy Sunday afternoon
I'm wasting my time, I got nothing to do
I'm hanging around, I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens -- and I wonder....

No joke , but the song's by FOOLS GARDEN...
earlier i found this song to be so random but now that i heard it today,boy it struck..i know what he's talking abt, He ain't talking...thats me talking
and guess what, i also noticed the FOOLS GARDEN :)
i go there almost everyday (almost * exception being if i keep sleeping the entire day or i'm too drunk )..i live in a fools garden,i eat ,sleep,drink there...there are just fools arnd me,everywhere,all arnd me...& incase u thinking how come i'm so sure,they all keep harping on the fact abt HOW SENSIBLE THEY R,and HOW THEY R THE BEST....and blah blah blah blah

coming back to the song, i think its so cool..i can hum it any time of the day as these i'm actually not doing anythng
i just sit around and WONDER and thats all i do
wonder
wonder'
and some more wonder

so till i wonder what to do(actually i might end up writing another blog)...take care

The First Time....

first time...hmm i just wrote first time cos this was supposed to be my FIRST BLOG,so the first time seemed kinda appropriate...but as soon as i finished typing ,a zillion thoughts crossed my mind...The FIRST TIME...well,evokes way too many memories,...but obvious the first of it that comes to mind is the very FIRST TIME .the first time when you do IT,.."IT"-some call the extreme form of expression...love,passion,lust whatever be...well guess i'll have to write another blog on the various stories i have heard abt the FIRST time or actually the stories i have been able to GET OUT of ppl...who were either very excited to share their experience,or just simply brag abt it or some ppl who just wanted to prove a point..trust me,that wd surely make for some very interesting reading material ;-)
for now,well...besides this being my first blog,there are many things in life i'm trying for the first time...i know for some of these things ,i'm extrememly late...but as they say better late than never !!!!!
I got myself enrolled in IMAGO-its an acting School run by BARRY JOHN,well for ppl who don't know- the KING KHAN-the very versatile SRK started from here ,so did karan kapoor -the guy who essayed the role of aslam in RDB & so did Shiney Ahuja-he got some awards for his movie "Hazaaron Khwaishein Aise",one of the movies i wanted to see but never did manage but i kinda liked him in GANGSTER....so this is gonna be my first time ,my foray into my dream world...a world where i cd just not be ME...wow & u never know,very soon i might be a star...and IMAGO wd be publicising the very fact that i started my career from there...AMEN !!!!

So here's till my second blog....cheers

The First Time!!!